DAY 1

Johnny Depp is so grand, definitely the gift that keeps on giving, and goddamn is he particularly delicious with facial hair!  I love his greasy hair, the way his mustache and goatee make him look like a vagabond, and the way his eyes pierce right through me.  I keep waiting for this beautiful man to hit some kind of wall where his looks fade slightly or where his scraggly facial hair repulses me, just enough to show he is human and subject to the same laws of nature as us plebeians, but it is just not happening.

Lately, Johnny Depp looks as if he has fake watches to sell to you… or as if he’s about to flash someone in the alleyway.  And I’m okay with that because MY LOVE FOR HIM AND VARIOUS MANIFESTATIONS OF HIS FACIAL HAIR WILL NEVER DIE. Try as he might, despite the numerous layers, Johnny Depp cannot hide the sexy. As such, he can climb into my Secret Window anytime… just saying.  Anyway, I’ll be in my bunk.

—written by Mariana